beautiful disaster

It's 5th December 2010

2010-12-05T02:05:00.002+08:00

Oh yes, since I wrote about being promoted last year with 3H2s and 3H1s even though many people thought I probably couldn't make it. (whatever)

Let me show off lah okayyy. I beat ya suckaz. 3 H2s and 3H1s this time. In year TWO. Who's laughin' naow?!

Yeah yeah, go bitch about me when school reopens. Who cares.

2009-11-03T20:13:00.002+08:00

Guess what, I'm promoted. With 3 H2s 2 H1s. In your face! I can soooo do without you.

And your gf's getting on my fucking nerves.

moved

2009-08-19T22:24:00.001+08:00

I have moved on to Tumblr. Not informing the url though. (: respect privacy yeah. thanks (:

2009-08-10T22:53:00.001+08:00

I miss you. So.

Malay project gilerrrrr

2009-08-05T20:09:00.001+08:00

HAHA. cool uh? ((:
&& the one below is me chatting with Azhari when he was just sitting right infront of me. Hahaha. It's so funny. I guess this is what malay project may do to you. Please, by all means, try (: I spent like 4 hours with him doing malay project written report. Haha. Amazing.

results day tomorrow

2009-07-30T20:52:00.000+08:00

So today went relatively fine. I didn't get into any accidents, alhamdulillah. :) But I did went into a bitch fight with a classmate. And my clique went like whoa sufie, chill. :) Love bitch fights. Anyway, tomorrow's results day. Oh dear. I'm okay-ly proud of my results. Not bad. Could've been better. But I can't wait for after that. Sandosham die die wants to go to parkway. So fine, follow luh uh.

WELL, till tomorrow then. Bye take care love you.

accidents

2009-07-29T19:21:00.000+08:00

Hello.

I had a terrible day. Did you?
I really hope not. Here's what happened.

I had PE. We played umm, striking and fielding at the carpark. The carpark is those tiles with grass kinda thing. So we had 4 bases, a pitcher and catcher. The catcher had to catch the ball and throw as far as he can so that the fielding team has a harder time getting the ball to tag the catcher out. The catcher then had to run around the 4 bases and back to home base before getting tagged. So yes, I threw the ball near the first base(smart what), so I ran to the first base while trying to avoid getting tagged. The grass was slippery. Mmmm. I tripped and according to my classmates, I did some matrix twist, so instead of falling flat on the front, I ended up on my back. I grazed my right hand and knee. Had a bruise and the cuts were stinging. I was in shock and pain. My classmates all ran to me. Mr. told m to go wash my wound. And we went to see First Aid Lady after the lesson. And yeah, First Aid Lady kinda recognised me cos I fainted before, injured my ankle before and etc. So I came in and I was like, "It's me again." And she was like, "I know." :)

That was it you say? Nope. There's more.

So thankfully, after PE was Math, nothing happened. Then it was Malay period. We had it in the lecture room. It's a big room with a main door and a second door. The second door is usually locked so we had to wait for cikgu to arrive before going in. However, the second door wasn't locked and my Malay classmates went in. The lights were switched off and it was really really dark cos there were no windows(air-con room lah duh) and they decided to play a prank on Cikgu. so I was playing along. Then I got bored and decided to go out(second door uh), then I saw cikgu. I was like shit. No more prank. Then I was smart enough to like came up with a plan with cikgu to scare them instead! Yeah, so I had to close the door slightly so my classmates couldn't hear. I placed my finger in between the door cos I thought if I did, the door would be locked. So I told cikgu of the 'plan' and she gave this 'haiyo' face and closed the door WITH MY THUMB IN BETWEEN! I screamed in pain. And started laughing real hard but was tearing up cos it hurt so bad. CIkgu was like shocked and super guilty luh. Yeah, prank never happened anyway. Then when I came in tears they were all shocked. The tables kinda turned around me. Sadly. Cikgu said she'll bring me to see First Aid Lady after the lesson although I told her I'll be fine. It's pretty normal right? Yeah, but cos she said she'll feel super guilty if she didn't so I let her. By the time lesson ended, my thumb was swollen and bleeding. Then, she brought me to see First Aid Lady. And because she was wearing this really nice baju kebaya, the attention went on her instead. But First Aid Lady was like, "You again uh." I just smiled. :) Cafe lady was there then after that when we wanted to get ice from the cafe, the cafe lady gave it to us for free cos she pitied me I suppose. Cikgu walked me to class :) I made her.

Bad day, no? No. Terrible day.

Scary part was, when those incidents happened, I thought of the things that could possibly happen. Like the falling incident and the 'what if my thumb got squashed?" incident. It was scary alright.

But don't worry, I'm fine now. :)

stupid blog stuff

2009-07-28T20:54:00.000+08:00

So apparently, I cannot blog here nicely. And I cannot blog at my new blog because it's expeiencing the same problem as this blogspot. And I cannot post at all. How pissy. But anyway, as I go on with life. I had a traumatic incident which kinda woke me up but I really hope it is something to guide me and not do it because you know... be selfish and stuff.

Everybody's asking me how I feel about "them". 'Dont you feel awkward?', 'What do you do when you see them?'. I tell them, Ignorance is Bliss :) It really is. I really don't give a damn. But having to repeat over and over again how I feel. The more I feel like I can't be bothered. Whenever I think about them, I shiver. Eeee. Hahaha.

But, I had a nice night the other time on Saturday :) shi to the sha with nicole, aj, zai and li wen :) small group more gossip. I want more of this gatherings. Haha.

Oh by the way, my hamsters pregnant! :D abiiiiit scary. Haha.

2009-07-22T19:52:00.001+08:00

I don't care if I can't upload properly. But I need to scream! I need to rant! I, I, I... DON'T BELIEVE IN IT ANYMORE! URGH!

Just leave me alone uhhh. K bye.

2009-07-19T10:29:00.001+08:00

It's abit long ago, but why not add to my collection in my blog :) for future references.

2009-07-19T10:09:00.002+08:00

Haha, I cheated on my husband. And he apparently cheated on me too and he's loving it aye?
Love this :)
We all step supermodels.
Centre parting and muka nak sneeze.
Umm. Yeah that.

I love the dancers! Okay, shopping day with bff todayyyyyyyy yay! :D

nec filming

2009-07-18T21:12:00.003+08:00

The people involved. My husband is ... the one in the same colour as me.

RHD Filming Day.

I had filming yesterday for racial harmony day. It was fun being the bride and having a bollywood wedding :) But it was hot and tiring. Thanks to Visa for lending me her outfit :) Oh and Marcus is wearing my dad's baju kurung. Haha.

Oh and I just found out the fact that Indian girls have to celebrate puberty ceremony. HAHA. Myyyyy. Hahaha.

I went to JB today to tailor my baju raya. :) Someone missed texting me but won't admit it. HAHA. It was fun just now. I think I'm gonna love my baju raya. Designed it myself. Wee! :D

I think ... maybe it could you :)

no real friends

2009-07-16T20:19:00.002+08:00

Friends are never forever; just concluded.

I just came to the conclusion that the friends you have may never treat you as one in the end. And then you realise, there are better friends out there. Thank God, we all never lasted. At least for now, I have friends who are non-judgemental and don't try to outdo each other or try to look better than the other. That's not friends. I just realise. I realised I consistently had to look just as good or better(although most of the time, I'm always the average) and that was tiring work. Super damn tiring. Finally, now I can be myself, and not be judged.

And thank God I have a constant. You can never live without a constant. My constant - bff. Constants are forever; just concluded :)

ew alyyyy?!

2009-07-16T19:47:00.003+08:00

Damn bloody fxcking awkard bodoh.

True or not. Let's just assume it is. It's bad enough I had to hear it from the lips of someone else. What made it worst was the fact that you got with someone of what used to be your friend's gf and what used to be my somewhat 'close' friend. No no, I'm not sad, jealous or whatever associated with it. But you see uh, it's damn awkward. The degree of awkwardness is so much different than say if you were with some other girl I don't even know or barely knew. This is.. oh my gosh. I expected it uh, even when we were together just that, I never thought it would happen so soon. I seriously have NO words to decribe when I think of you both, just my cringed face and an 'ew'.

I just wish I was never your girlfriend so that I would never be your ex. And it's not the emo kind of 'I wish I was never your girlfriend'. It's the I swear to God kind. Because the fact that it is so awkward, I don't mind not being the used to be girlfriend. At least it's less awkward that way. Feel me? Imagine us bumping into each other, you&her and me. Wow. That's like to the power of infinity awkward siuls.

That's all I have to say. If it's not true then, why does everybody else know about it? Apparently, I'm kinda like the last to know. Couldn't you have just told me? Be a friend. Or something along that line. I wouldn't freak out, chill.

HAHA RHD dance

2009-07-12T21:22:00.002+08:00

MIO DANCE.

This is for your entertainment and for the millennians' guide to dancing. Seriously. Spot Me!

night festival

2009-07-12T14:12:00.002+08:00

Le Night Festival.

Omg, I got too caught up with my hamster stuff yesterday that I forgot to mention I went to the night festival the day before. Yup, went to watch Le Bffbf and ATC perform. Super nice :) I think Communication Downbreak was the best. Kompang boyz best. Haha. Adib Rezza cut his hair. :/ I like his long hair. :/ But the performance before that was interesting! Fireworks were awesome. Performers have a high tolerance for ke-mabuk-an. Amazing. After saying goodbyes to them. I went home. Reached home around 1245am. Tiredxsz and had dance the next day. Which is yesterday. So until bff uploads pictures, it shall be empty. Bland. Empty.

goozbais.

hamsterwheelz

2009-07-11T23:48:00.003+08:00

Gegerl.
cutexsz!
we renovated her cage.
under construction.

Hamster wheelzzz.

I had a day with bff and bffbf at eastpoint today and we went inside Pet Safari. So I was like, hey, why not I look at hamster stuff since I have a hamster. Like why not, at least there's something I could look at because I have a pet. So yeah, bff and bffbf went to look at other things and I went to look at really cute hamster stuff. Like, an extention to my what used to be a smaller kind of cage(consisting of the main one in orange and a small green one and the water part). So then, I was like, I'm SOOOO gonna suggest to my bro or mum to get it either tonight or other times. So tonight when I came out of the toilet(after doing le biznez, le duh!) my brother came home with a box. He took out a box consisting of the extentions I wanted to suggest to him. Like, Le OMG! :O

So we began constructing. Haha. Le Gegerl damn naughty kept trying to come out. We let it run abit on the kitchen floor. Not until like the other time when it got loose and I tried to catch it back. No no. Situasi dalam perhatian. Yeah, k direct translasi. And voila!(voyyy-lah!)

We're all so happy. OH! Eh nabzsx, it can climb ehhhhh! Remember we were like, can it climb up? Yeah, you'd be surprised!

PS: I super duper love my hamsterzxs.

pool day

2009-07-10T11:18:00.003+08:00

Hahaha.
Alan, Joel, Ke Jun and ME :D

all of us :D
This is when I beat Joel :)

Pool Day.

Well, Bio paper wasn't so bad. Maybe a B. I hope. So in order to de-stress, we had Pool Day :D Fun fun fun! It's been awhile since I played pool. Haha. I beat Joel so that's a plus point! Yay me!

Let the pictures do the talking. I'm done here.

boring

2009-07-06T23:09:00.002+08:00

Mit kel. Or Mitchell.

I didn't know OF was a hot hot hottttsss place to be studying at. Aku regular :) There and at the Jalan Jamal one(or Siglap). There I saw millennian friends, bff's classmates and long time no see friend, Ally. I love Ally's hair. It's like shaved on the left and not shaven on the right. Very soft. She wore eyeliner. How surprising. And I told her, "You look very pretty." HAHAHA. She is.

K boring. Moving on. I need to get a more exciting life. I've been going out with bff, bff, bff, bffbf&bff, bff, bff&bffbf. Wow. Nice. Oh, I hope pool after bio paper with clique will make up for all the not so exciting life I have. Haha.

Speaking of bio paper. I is very very excited for it :D Studied pretty hard kay. I think one of the only subjects I can sure pass. I hope I get an A this time :D kayyyyyy, notttt bragginggggggggg.

got better things to do

2009-07-06T00:03:00.003+08:00

Life is More.

When I was leaving the house just now, my mum said to me, "Better be studying ah.. Jangan nak carik boyfriend je(don't go around finding boyfriends)." I was like Huh?! No! Omg. Boyfriends are unnecessary and so 3 months ago. Come on lah, do I really look like someone who can only survive when there's male attention that means more than just friends? Seriously! I'm doing fine, aren't I? But that's all inside and on the outside, I guess to people I look like the situation stated above. Annoying and frustrating at the same time.

I haven't been out on a proper date, been studying my ass off. How can I possibly be finding a boyfriend? Look, if there's fate, fine. But right now, I just need myself. No one else. And I'm cool with that. Yeah, life means more than just affection and attention from guys. More than lust and love. I need to find out who I am before I get to know other people so at least there's something I can tell them when I introduce myself.

I haven't given up on it yet. But I just don't believe in it. So goonah. I shall go sleep with no strings attached. Huh?

short term eycandy

2009-07-05T23:18:00.002+08:00

Short-term Eyecandy.
(a sad kind of pleasure.)

Everyone has encountered these people. The people who bring pleasure to eyes that can sometimes or most of the time touch the heart. I shall explain to you what it means. Short-term eyecandies are good-looking people who pass by in your life for awhile. These encounters can last for the least 3 seconds or the most half an hour depending on situation. They must be 1) total stranger. 2) subjective to the term 'good-looking'. And it's sad because you only get to see them for mere seconds until they continue to become a total stranger again. Why? Because you want them to notice you in the least desperate way as possible without you looking like a total fool. I've always wondered how to strike a conversation with a total stranger. Cos I'd be creeped out myself if someone were to do that to me(and I mean, it could be anyone good-looking or not). Believe it or not, until you find a way to strike that conversation, all these people remain in your short-term eyecandy list.

Sad huh? Ah well. We can try to do without them. :)

my hamster

2009-07-03T14:38:00.002+08:00

Annoying? Or not.

Did I mention I have a hamster? Yeah, just one. A huge one. A siberian hamster if I'm not wrong. Haha, Gegerl?Gigirl? yeah, cos it's a girl. Short story long, my bro had the usual kind of hamsters at first. Then he bought the current one. We kinda hid it in his room without my mum's knowledge. Heh. For about 6 months. The usual hamsters gave birth, doi. Then it ate its own babies. Eee. Then my bro let them go, somewhere... Out there... After awhile, I kinda forgotten I had hamsters. Then I only saw one left. The current one. Haha, just when I decided to spend the night at my gramma's, secret was out. HAH. It was making lotsa noise and my mum went to check what it was. So yeah, she freaked out at first. And now... everytime she enters the kitchen(yeah, we place our dearest there now), she will always go, "Baby..." -.- O.o :/

End of Story.

chem&geog

2009-07-02T19:36:00.002+08:00

Like A Castle.

My hands shall officially have their off-day. My hands are tired. My hands were writing non-stop during geog paper (baik ah!), and chemistry too. More for geog though. So anyway, went home with Teo! :D Teooooo. He says I look down on him alot. Aww. Idk, maybe. Maybe not. Anyway, when I alighted at the usual Toa Payoh busstop and I saw my favourite :) Okay no lah, not favourite. My guy bestfriend, Armani! :D Was quite surprised he was there the same time as me. Stupid idiot was late for his driving so he missed the timing with his instructor. Then stupid idiot decided to walk me home but wanted to rilek and smoke first. So yeah, teman uh. Then uhhh, stupid idiot made me stay there with him for more than an hour when my initial plan was to go home and sleep! He made me feel so bad that I was leaving him alone. Bloody mafaker. HAH. But yeah, it's been so long since I met him anyway.

I need to rilek now. I'm so shagged.

math paper

2009-07-01T15:55:00.002+08:00

Let go lah bodoh.

You think hard hard, you write little little, you walk out of the room blabbering about how much you regret not studying and how badly you're gonna fail. Let go lah bodoh. What's the point of regretting? You want to turn back time is it? Kay fine, go press that button on your right. Ini post jugak mintak kena slap pasal aku dah kat rumah berejam, geog notes tak sentuh pun tetapi ini tidak semestinyer aku akan menyesal. Aku blaja kayzsx?

So anyway, to be honest, math paper was a bitch. I think I did just enough to pass :/ or not. But I'm sure I did better than last year mid-years. Or not. But niwaexsz, kawan saya berada di dalam camp NS dia, saya suka sungguh buat dia jealous (or jeles) HAHA. Budak masuk sispec pe. Buat A's private pe. Dah ah, tak nak berbual lagi ah.

Okay okay, I will stop this minah-fied talk alright? I'm just too into it already after reading this minahspeak.livejournal.com. She is awesome, I tell you. This self-professed Minah has a good command of English compared to most of our substantial standard of the widely spoken language. &&&best part is, if you're a College Girl Minah as she calls it, like me, or a College Boy Mat, she's kind enough to explain the phrases you hardly hear but are existent in the Mat/Minah world. Especially if you're a College Girl/Boy. Pretty beneficial, I must say. Kudos to her!

So go! Be amused, laugh your ass off and don't take anything in offence cos it's all fun & booze :D As much as I'm glad promoting this blog, math paper was still a bitch. Hands down. Bitchy.

blind date

2009-06-27T14:50:00.002+08:00

We Part To Meet Again.

It was ultimately last minute. This day started with a call when I was still asleep at 10am. It was pretty blind date. Yeah. It wasn't bad. No, no it wasn't. I don't wanna say much.

Us.

2009-06-25T10:10:00.003+08:00

Thoughts.

I sunk myself in 90210 the WHOLE day yesterday. Don't worry, I studied at night. So anyway, basically their lives revolve around only one thing. Relationships. Not just boygirl, but family too. Two things that separate them from me is 1) They are rich. Filthy. Rich. Spend money like buying 5c sweets at the mama shop. 2) They are 16. Omg. They look damn old. Yeah, you know how a 16year old should look like? Juno. They should look like Juno. Then I'll believe. So anyway, I'm kind of intrigued by this character Ethan. It's this hot guy. He gets with girls, thinks he's in love with them, then breaks up with them because he doesn't feel compatible(like normal relationships) and likes another girl so easily. No, seriously? And it's not just any girl. It's a girl from the same clique. Okay no, there was one who was just a girl from their school. But that was during his relationship. What a cheater! So in the season alone, he has 2 girlfriends who he breaks up with and likes another girl. And that's not counting the number of affiliated girls he used to be with to cheat on his what now is ex-girlfriends.

I like this show. Even though I don't really relate to most of the storyline. But I like it. It shows how teenage relationships(and I mean boygirl) don't really last till the end. Yeah, you may be together for 1 year, 3 years, 5 years, 10 maybe? You might just end up breaking up. Not that I'm saying you should or you will. I've heard of people with countless years breaking up just like that. Divorces. Where does that lead to then? That's why, I'm kind of afraid to get into another relationship. Seriously speaking. I'm not holding back anymore. And it may or may not be because of my previous relationship but I'm not being a loser who's afraid of being in love again. And if you say, concentrate on studies first, trust me. What's the difference? Of course, nonetheless, I'm happy for those who are in love with their other half. At least they have someone to preoccupy their used to be lonely mind. :) Me? Nah, I don't mind having those 'lonely' moments. I have an imaginary friend named Susan whom I occasionally chat with(she bakes awesome cookies, by the way). Well, I have to go. I'm meeting a human friend soon. To study, of course. So remember, you can have relationships. Just that when you fall, don't forget to get up.

Letting the past go.

study time

2009-06-23T10:53:00.002+08:00

Two Steps.

How's the Sacrifice going? Not very well. Haha. I can't live without chocolate. Seriously. But it doesn't matter. I need to study.

I'll try to stop ok.

2009-06-18T16:43:00.001+08:00

Sacrifice.

I've decided to sacrifice a few things for they have too much sugar in them that gives me only a temporary high. I shall keep this up for maybe about 1 week. And progressively sacrifice more things. For better health, for handball!

Things I will sacrifice this week:

Coke :(
Any form of chocolate :(((((((
Any sugary drinks :/
Junk food.

Okay. I will try.

stop dreaming of you

2009-06-14T18:03:00.002+08:00

Dreams.

What is it trying to tell me? Seriously. I would love if the answers just flow out like that so that my life is made so much easier that I don't have to think so much about it. For 4 consecutive days, I dreamt of you. And when I dream of you, I subconsciously think of you. And when I subconsciously think of you, I will consciously think about you. And when I consciously think about you, I'm distracted. And when I'm shittingly distracted, I'll end up dreaming of you again. I know it's gonna be absolutely nothing in real life but urgh... Ew.

Anyway, I think I'm in love with handball. I've always thought why do you wanna watch a match? And get all into it. Wow, I was really into it just now. And table referreeing was difficult I must say. But I can't wait to play. Seriously, they got MY adrenaline rushing.

I'm really tired. No, sleepy actually. At bff's house now. Seeeeeriously, sleeeeeepy.

Anyway, yesterday I went to flea market and got myself a pants for $2! :D Love flea market, LOVE flea market. After that, headed to Gentarasa 2009 at NYP. Let's comment about it shall we?

The performance was really spectacular. Although it was quite confusing at the beginning and the translation slides went haywire. All the spontaneous dialogues were funny. It was really funny! The dances were amazing. Especially the Zapin dance performerd by the 'Sri MTV'. The way the guys move their body just melted me in a way no other dances ever did. The other two dances were okay, the hip-hop ones were not bad. The Dikir Barat really captured my attention with their loud voices which were obviously melodic. Made me love Dikir Barat all over again :)

Overall: Absolutely entertaining :)

Seriously, It wasn't a waste to have watched them. Really really nice. :) Well done!

flyer

2009-06-10T00:15:00.002+08:00

Future look down.

Like the whole world from above, it seems so much simpler. It doesn't matter, being hundreds of meters above ground, above all the complicated situations, above all that life has to give, just that half an hour of solitude and simplicity would do. Could I wish for a life simpler than this even if I wanted to?

SIMPLICITY?! Am I kidding myself? I want simplicity?! How? What? Huh?! What?! Huh?! How?!

What, may I ask myself, is simple? Not even that summation question in my maths workbook is simple. And that's that! Everything's all elaborate and complicated. Cos everyone wants to go into every detail of it. Oh goodness, I need a break.

don't need anyone

2009-06-08T12:00:00.006+08:00

Millennia Handball.

This was on Saturday when we camwhored alot. Yeah, training wasn't very productive. But hey, we camwhored! Alot. Here are just some of the pikchas. There's more on facebook. See you soon!

Like makcik-makcik.

I'm flying!
Amal&Hafizah.
I think it was a tiang ball anyway. HAHA

Players.

Nice aye mate? :)

find a way

2009-06-07T11:27:00.001+08:00

I gotta find a way.

Find A Way - Plainsunset

Is this how I feel? Maybe.

surprise

2009-06-05T14:13:00.002+08:00

In my empty room.

I decided to come a lil bit late for maths just now. To my surprise, someone took the same bus as me :) Haha. Cos someone didn't reply me yesterday so yeahhh. Surprised. Maths was easy :) Love maths now. But only a few of us came down. Called Alan at 9 and he just woke up at that point. How...nice... I was already on the way though. Hmm. Nevermind, thank God he reached 45mins later. Was suppose to go for lunch with them but had something more important to do. Haha.

Meeting Nab laterrr. I should go get ready now. WHAT SHOULD I WEAR?!

2009-06-04T17:20:00.002+08:00

This is Justin Joel Randall. Along with Ke Jun, they make the dumbest couple yet. By couple I don't mean them being together. They do stupid things. Hi Joel. Here, he played the staring game with Ke Jun. They stared at each other for 30mins. NOT KIDDING. Look at his eyes! And yesterday, they competed on who can eat the most cili padis. He lost.
I miss them, a lot. Need I say more?
Autographed :)
The best notice board ever!
Wiping the noticeboard for the final touch :)

hair dye

2009-06-01T16:38:00.002+08:00

Die? Dye? Die?

I think my scalp is having an allergic reaction to the hair dye. I hope not though cos it's currently stinging right now. Aye. I have to wait till 5.15 to rinse the dye off. Then head back home to change and go out again. Meeting Khalis at town. He wants me to go shopping with him. O.o Okayyyy. He better treat me. But I need to rush. Shucks. Class was cancelled today. Had lunch with aunt and currently at my gramma's. I need handball now. Now.

it doesnt hurt anymore

2009-05-31T16:52:00.005+08:00

Promises never last forever.

It doesn't hurt anymore when I look at your pictures, the memories of what we used to have. But that doesn't mean I don't care. I don't wish to speak of you when others ask, because it's redundant. Love songs that makes us women sound weak at the sound, the touch, the taste of love makes me feel like we women can't stand up for ourselves. Because I did, and I know others can too.

Meeting Nabz, Fadz and Abahz for dinner ya. Parents outz. Missing handball already!

lost my life.

2009-05-31T14:08:00.002+08:00

Lost.

From a far away distance, I'll see you. And it will all stop there.

Handball was great, productive but tiring. Right arm muscle aching. Imbalance uh. And so the YOG boy's squad was at MI training as well. But funny thing was Amal and her pedo moment. Haha. Ady aye mate ? :) Hahaha. KC Family day was quite boring cos B&J's finished Starbucks was uh? Subway cookies were expensive. Candy floss was a rip-off. Sat down at McDonald's with Nab and wrote a speech for my mum's surprise birthday dinner of which I not only made her cry when I read it out, I made all my aunts cry. :D

"I love you, Ma. It's been 18 years since I met you. You knew me before I knew myself. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here right now. I know I've not shown you much appreciation through the years because truth is, I'm shy. In my heart, I've always appreciated everything that you do for me. Like washing and ironing my school uniform, cooking my favourite meals, never failing to wake me up for school every morning. And I wanna thank you for everything that you did that made your hands bleed, leg swell, head ache, body sore and everything unpleasant I would whine about. I'm sorry for not celebrating Mother's Day with you because I believe an extraordinary mother like you deserve something better. An extraordinary mother like you deserve to be with her family she has taken care of for many years and many years to come. You're the strongest woman I look up to and how I wish I could be at least 1/10th of who you are. I may not be the perfect daughter but I know I'm the perfect daugher for you. I love you, Ma. Happy Birthday!"

:) That was it. I cried while writing it, cried while reading it out. Ah well.

handball

2009-05-28T21:40:00.003+08:00

Heart.

SEL camp again. Ah well. Uhm, the Life Connections one was okayyyy. I fell asleep during the Financial Literacy lecture. I swear I didn't mean for it to happen. Mr. woke me up and gave me a sweet. Some cinnamon sweet. Err, rejected it. Haha. But the Cashflow game is super fun! :) Played for 2&half hours but I still couldn't get out of the rat race. Hahaha.

Hmm, I'm over it. But my heart just sank when I saw you there. Trust me, I don't know why. My hands shivered, I closed my eyes and breathed slowly. Gained back my composure and finally took the courage to unintentionally get arm length close to you. I don't wanna question my feelings. Not now anyway.

Handball was tiring ya. I injured myself. Ah well. No match tomorrow but I'm excited for Saturday :)

heard it all before

2009-05-27T16:52:00.003+08:00

I don't want it anymore.

Dear God,

I don't wanna feel this way anymore. Please if it's not meant to be, just rip the feeling away. It hurts to hurt. But I guess, this is your way of testing me. I guess this lesson has definitely taught me to be stronger, learn to adapt, learn to let go... So, do I hurt no more now?

Love,
Sufie.

GP was good :) I really hope I pass.

Ben's party

2009-05-24T21:30:00.002+08:00

Ben's crazy beach party! :D
love class! &Matthew.
love class, again! &Matthew, again.
Selina! &Matthew, again again.
Selina, again!

09S4 is just the greatest.

I believe we had tons of fun! Although I had appointment and thought I couldn't make it, I did eventually. Didn't wanna miss out on anything. Speaking of appointment Inflammation of the something which I cannot pronounce. Hmm, don't like the sound of it anyway. I hope it's really nothing big.

Anyway, beach party was great! Cake smashing on Ben was better! Water was the best! :D Now I have a sunburn which hurts like crazeeeeeee! And a bikini tanline. I got darker, not tanner. Sadly. Khalis says I look like him now which is sooooo annoying! I don't wanna be as dark as him! Kiren says sunburns are cool which is sooooo not. Oh and a guy asked for my number -.- because I was wearing a bikini. How shallow can he get?! AND he happened to be Fareez's platoon mate and Fareez was there too! But he didn't tell me so I didn't know we're gonna end up on the same beach. But yeah, long story behind that. Wasn't interested of course. Bah.

After that we had B&J at Vivo :) Not so great confession session. It felt like history repeating itself. I swear. Really and I hope the repetition does not continue. Took the train with Matthew since he lives in Pasir Ris. I hope we have another beach party soon! After my sunburns cool down of course.

Dear God,
I hope it's a sign. I hope that everything for everyone will be okay. I know I'll be okay. Because I'm feeling great! But I hope it stays this way. But why, why am I hoping for a lot of things? Why is it that when I hope, I'll end up disappointing myself cos the results turn out to be the opposite of what I really want? Why is it that we always demand for a lot of things? I'll be okay, I know I will. But I'm still hoping. Of course. But I'll never be the person she ever was.

Love,
Sufie.

malaysia

2009-05-10T13:41:00.002+08:00

Have you got tickets for the show?

Malaysia is gooooood :) Love spending time with my family but I kinda miss home. Sorry for the people that I didn't inform of my absence. Hahaha, upload pikchas when I get home aite? Oh yes, and the MIOO rehearsal too. I love this pikcha of me and Ram. I mean... it looks supaaaa awesome! Really, I even put it as my phone wallpaper. RAM! You should be honoured. Hahaha.

And I'm awfully sorry to Fareez for ditching him on Friday and Amal too! :( Shucks I feel superrr bad. Cos he rushed to meet me after his book out. But he was all the way in Lim Chu Kang but I was somewhere else. :((( Shucks mannnn. Sorry bro! And Amal, goodness I'll brush up my throwing skills! Promise :)

Going home tonight! Love you all!

kiren :)

2009-05-07T22:35:00.002+08:00

Star Trek Gala Premiere.

Watched the star trek gala premiere. I know it's super geeky for me but I had loads of fun! Brought Kiren along. I'll upload pikchas when he uploads it. Hahaha, he's a really nice guy. Like, any girl's kind of guy. I mean, not that I like him or anything. I don't. I still need time to sort out my feelings in case anyone's wondering. But because he was so nice to me, I felt a lil uncomfortable. Haha serious! I felt like I owe him ALOT. Like really. He treated me to Ben&Jerry's ice-cream, nachos and cab fare. Super nice right! Omg.

And I think today went quite well with Lilah and I zoning out during Bio. Haha! Enzymes can be such a bore! My hair was tied to the side and suddenly I started smelling my hair.. HAHA.

Lilah: Sufie, best? Haha.
Me: (look, came back to reality)

We were trying so hard to control our laughter because te whole class was quiet. HAHAHA. Then she wrote on a piece of paper..

Lilah: I was thinking, "dia ni betul2 bored"

I replied her: I think the smell of my hair was more interesting than the things that came out from his mouth.

HAHAHA.

I'm really tired. I swear :( MIOO is really taking a toll on me. Been having dance practice everyday. Oh goodness. Thank goodness for the holidays :)

Okay, alright. I'm gone now. Goodenightde!

goodbye

2009-05-01T19:09:00.002+08:00

If you were wondering

This would be my first public declaration of how I truly feel. I'm guessing people are dying to know how I'm feeling. I'm okay, actually :) They tell me don't be sad, take care, don't do anything stupid... Don't worry. I'm doing fine. I've never felt stronger compared to my previous previous breakup. Yup, I guess in every relationship either building it or breaking it, you learn. Every step of the way. I tell myself everyday, the next day would be better than the previous.

Whether I'm pretending or I am really strong inside, it doesn't matter. Let it be, let me be. Because I'm okay.

Just in case you were wondering.

sickkk

2009-04-29T11:38:00.002+08:00

That's all I need.

Down with a fever :( skipped school. For real this time. Not like last week. Haha, seriously. I feel bad cos today's the malay presentation for my group. Oh mann. Shall be going to the polyclinic later.

What if something you have, is not something you need.
What if something you don't have will make you succeed.

I can't wait to leave.

fast and furious

2009-04-26T12:48:00.002+08:00

Awesome late nights.

Fast and furious 4 was great. I like. I burnt my $2 bag, Thank God it was just $2. You do not wanna know how. Super ridiculous. Ang Mo Kio's McCafe was nice too. Just a lil bit too crowded. Reached home at 12am and I had good sleep. Goooood sleeeeep.

Shall be heading out again later I suppose.

youre not what i needed

2009-04-25T13:58:00.002+08:00

Enough.

There was once a girl who dreamed of many things. He supported her, He wanted to help her. She wanted the easy way out knowing He would help her no matter what because she loved Him and He loves her. She does things out of her own accord without considering Him but He just shook his head and forgave her. At the end of the day, she didn't get what she wanted and blamed Him for not helping her. She cried day and night, too angry to even speak to Him.

I should always keep in mind that with hardwork, only then will God help you. Not gonna lose my pride. Not gonna lose my self-worth. Take care.

you know but you don't

2009-04-23T23:03:00.002+08:00

Choose them wisely.

You went through what I'm going through but you're giving me a harder time. What have I done to you? Really, it's hard enough. Stop making it harder.

funny day

2009-04-23T22:22:00.002+08:00

Glimpse of hope.

Today, I felt really lazy wanting to go school. But I did, I woke up, I bathed, I got ready, I headed out. Took the normal bus to Toa Payoh but I heard the supposedly early 985 was late. I took it 10mins later. Not just that, there was a jam at PIE due to a stupid tree that fell and took up two lanes. Arrived around Toh Tuck at 7.35, took 157 but it was slow, when it reached Bukit Batok, there were many others there too. So different cases of being late. I took the opportunity to go home. Although whoever was late didn't get detention but yeah, I didn't go to school. Headed down to Vivocity to have Long John with Zahrah, En Jia, Khad and Azirah. The other 4 who skipped also.

After that, I was suppose to take MC but I got really tired, so I went home first around 12 and slept. My mum called and told me that the polyclinic's gonna close at 4, so I dragged myself out of bed and put on FBTs and a shirt and went out. I felt so who cares. Got MC and met a friend at Bedok Reservoir. I swear to God I miss her.

And I feel thankful I met this friend. Because now when I feel that the world is being unfair to me and turning against me, she gave me a glimpse of hope. Really. Now, I'll always think about that hope and I'll feel all better :) I hope. For hope. And because the definition of happiness is completely changed right now, I feel like I should leave. And yes, I'm leaving. So goodbye, you.

cant wait for wednesday

2009-04-20T20:02:00.003+08:00

Hanging on to the very last string.

Nice song :) The melody I mean.

Khalilah amazingly came today. Thankfully, accompanied me throughout the day but she's not coming tomorrow! Cos of her hospital appointment. :( well, hope nothing's wrong with her. Headed down to KC just now to collect EMDD tickets :) Yessahhh! Can't wait. Accompanied Ash&Nabila after that, heh.

I think the next few days is gonna be scary. All the best for tomorrow, you :)

Reach.

nuri :)

2009-04-19T12:35:00.002+08:00

The Amazing Ketchup Session.

Yesterday was unexpected. Had geography workshop in the morn. Then I met cousin in the afternoon for some awesome parkway walkabout. Went home at around 10? And then I fell asleep. Today? It's all about studying. Sink in to the notes and stuffs.

I've had it. I'm done. Let them say what they wanna say. I won't care. Not anymore, anyway.

It should've been something better.

ridiculous

2009-04-17T17:33:00.004+08:00

The Talk.

I still find that what I did, was not wrong. But what you did... was unexplainable. I'm the kind of person who likes being fair. I guess it's something essential for a relationship. Fairness and trust.

I just don't wanna be the blame.

congrats modern dance

2009-04-16T21:33:00.002+08:00

Gold Dancers!

Congratulations to the Modern Dance! Finally, you have joined us! Seriously, we're all awesome :))))) Congrats to you guys again. Love love <3

You're....

the break up

2009-04-11T10:26:00.002+08:00

How I wish my life was like a cat.

Yes, how I wish. How I wish my life was carefree, no hardships, no heartbreaks, nothing. I .. will find my own way home. I will bring my own bread home. I will still take one step at a time. I don't wanna run anymore. I wanna leap. Yes, oh how I wish my life was like a cat.

I wish you all the best. But just so you know, I don't want to stop talking to you, I don't want you to ignore me cos that's not what friends are about. Friends make each other smile and laugh and make each other's day. Friends encourage each other. That's what I want us to be.

My heart just can't take it anymore. But life has to go on. I've not cried for you. And I don't wish to. I won't forget the happy memories, and if you wish to not forget so, my blog is open to you to read my previous posts. I still love you. Good day.

syf pics

2009-04-10T12:29:00.004+08:00

Waiting for Nabzzzz to gimme ze pics she has. Speaking of which, eh Nab, you put on your blog uh then I steal kayxxx? Sayang cow.

GOLD.

2009-04-08T20:41:00.002+08:00

Everything was a miracle.

Days and weeks and months of going home late, spraining everything, injuring every part of the anatomy was all worth it.

Millennia Institute Tarian Millennia 2009 got a freaking GOLDDDDDDDD! :))))))))))))

And I'm like supaaaaa proud of them, really. Cos most are inexperienced dancers, compared to the previous SYF, and we managed to increase the benchmark. And to my KCians, well done! :)

Ouh, and Nazrina encountered a 'scary' episode at the dance room toilet. Hmmm.

mi vs sajc

2009-04-02T21:30:00.003+08:00

My boyfriend hug guy never tell me. Hahaha.
Of all the pictures I found on facebook, this proves to be THE cutest photo of the century. OMG! look at him! HAHAHA. This is Sam. I think.

MI vs. SAJC. Haha no comments, I came at the very last minute, really. As in literally. Haha, and I found out something funny/bastard/hahahahahaha.

SYF's next coming Wednesday! Scared scared. The Indian Dancers got a Gold. Omg. Pressure sia.

im coming home

2009-03-29T13:08:00.002+08:00

Yes, I'm still alive.

It's been a week, I know. But I've been progressively busy this week. I should be anyway. Started off the week with my new class. 09S4. Not bad. I miss being in Year2. I shall not elaborate further about this. Just know, I'm doing fine.

Watched a play yesterday at Jubilee Hall with Ham&Fad thanks to Nab. Interesting. Then Nab had another show and Ham had ugama class, it was me and Fad. While waiting for Nab, we ended up watching Confessions of a Shopaholic. Haha. In the end, Fad went home. I went home and went out with my family again to masayu where I ended up meeting Nab there. Hah.

Staying home today. Haven't done that in a while. SYF's coming! 8th April 2009.

Don't forget to remember me.

why hello

2009-03-22T13:53:00.002+08:00

Not dead, not gone.

It was a confusing and worrying Saturday night, I must admit. Thanks for explaining though. Yes, I was worried sick, I had every temptation to text you that night but I told myself I couldn't, not until you did. I guess I was 60% prepared for what you were going to say. I must say, preparation comes in handy. I'm sorry, but I've to tell you this. He may with all his might take you away from me, but he can never stop me from loving you. Never.
'
But why bring it up again? It's all over for now, ain't it? :) I still love you.

New class tomorrow! :)

2009-03-17T14:43:00.001+08:00

And then we all tried to understand one another.
Oh well.

am i happy?

2009-03-15T13:04:00.002+08:00

Yield not because you want to.

Change. Everything is beginning to change whether anyone likes it or not. The economy's downturn, the world temperature constantly rising, the everything that may or may not affect everyone. I'd take it as something that we all have to adapt to. But really, is saying we have to adapt as easy as adapting itself? Think about the emotional rollercoaster you'd have to go through. But then again, is it really necessary?

Every minute of every day now, I keep telling myself. Stop thinking with your heart. It's not gonna do you any good. I stop myself from all the unnecessary tears. But somehow, all that, just makes me uncomfortable. It's just not me. But it's a change. Something I have to adjust myself and my feelings and my mind to. Maybe one day, I'll finally say to myself. 'Hey, this is working pretty well. I shall keep up this work.' Because I believe that right now, this is essential. I need to start focusing. I cannot procrastinate anymore. Time is not on my side, or anyone else's for that matter.

I went through what you call the 'probation period'. It gave me more than what I bargained for. And not in a good way. I guess no one really knows how I felt at that period. All the stress was really, in fact, killing me. I couldn't help but to keep on crying while trying to pace myself with studies. I know that everyone else was going through stress just as much as I am, but not many are going through my situation. Or what was my situation. I must admit, that I was too emotional. I don't know if it really was me, myself and I to be blamed for not being able to control my emotions or something that hinders my control. But none of that helped me for sure.

This time, I will think more with my mind and manage my time well. I can do this. Yes, this whole retention situation has affected me, my self-esteem and everything else. And other people too. Yes, I have thought of the fact that I disappointed my loved ones. It hasn't been easy for me. It's hard not to let it affect me. It has.

Whatever it is, I'm hoping and praying the best for this upcoming term. I'll restart my year fresh. I'll be more than what anyone expects me to be. I cannot risk disappointing anyone anymore. I love my family and Adli very much and I can't do this to them anymore. Not now, not ever. It's a setback, alright. I'll move forward now.

Yeah, now.

retained

2009-03-14T17:20:00.003+08:00

It's NOT the end, it's just the beginning.

Today was the day my status was confirmed. I asked my Mr. and he said he couldn't help me anymore. I had to keep the calm look. After our conversation, everything just sank in. I guess these past few days I was just in denial. I knew it was gonna happen but I refuse to let myself feel it. Finally, I felt it. I cried, in front of my fellow dancers. I gained my composure back a few minutes later. I blamed myself for not putting enough effort last year. I blamed my teacher for not being lenient in marking. Then I came to realise that I couldn't just sit there and start blaming. I should do something about it.

I am going to make the best out of it. Retaining may not necessarily be a bad thing. I could possibly do better cos I get to brush up on my foundation. It's time I take control of my life, my academic life I mean. I will be the top student for PU1 2009, just you wait.

2009-03-10T19:59:00.002+08:00

The birthday girl and her cake :)
Junny & Cathyyylove.
Fred Perry and Cathy :)
All my love!
For you, Cathy :) (ignore Amir's cigg box & the lighter...was a nice picture)
Walk through this bright pathway.
awwwww. <3
candles done by the boys. hahaha.
KFC first, surprise her later.
muka aku cool.

Cathy's ever so surprising 18.

Finally! My girls have joined me in the 18 world :) Aly turned 18 on 1st March and now Cathy on the 8th! Hahaha. Well, we didn't really plan a surprise. Super impromptu. I made up a story that ADli broke up with me and wanted to meet her at this Seletar Hills park near her house. Hahaha! Luckily she was at home. Hahaha although recuperating from an unfortunate accident. I was I guess, 'selfish' BUT for a good cause :) It was really nice until .... someone had to spoil the surprise. Hahahahahahaha. Well. I hope we can get to do more surprises like this again. Pretty fun y'know! :)

Love you Cathy!

2009-03-08T23:16:00.001+08:00

This is what I trained one whole week for. Hahaha.

2009-03-07T17:56:00.002+08:00

You're My Saving Grace.

There's only 2 types of people in the world; ones that entertain, and ones that observe. I think you entertain because I enjo observing what you can do. You're getting more and more absurd by the minute. And to think you're growing older. My dear girl, we may be younger than you but I believe you've got a lot to learn just like many of us. Shit happens, you just can't handle it. But thanks to you, I've learnt not to be like you.

And my dear bestfriend, forget about her. She's a sore loser. End.

2009-03-07T15:48:00.002+08:00

Sports Fiesta 2009

It has been a great experience being in the Sapphire Cheerleading team. I love you guys! Although, we didn't win, we are all champions in Missy's heart :) I know I haven't updated in a long while. Haha, been busy practising for yesterday. The whole week I had cheerleading. And I couldn't go home like always with Adli :( I got really tired.

Sapphire cheerleaders & rugby boys&Crystal really helped me a lot when I passed out on Thursday and Friday. Haha. I swear I don't like the feeling. Now, I'm thinking, thank God I stayed in school yesterday. What if I passed out in the MRT alone or something like that? I mean, not that I was thinking of going home without Adli(which I did, in the end) but yeahhh. Then who would help ME? :(

Note to self: NEVER use mind over body to keep yourself energised.

G-double O-D-J-O-B
Good Job! Good Job!
(clapclap)
G-double O-D-J-O-B
Good Job! Good Job!
(clapclap)

Cathy's turning 18 tomorrow! :)

Kay, I'm gonna go rest awhile now.

youre all i have

2009-02-27T18:24:00.002+08:00

Have.

Finally I'm done with common test. However, I'm utterly worried of my results. Omg. Seriously. Bio was a killer, literally.

Oh oh, I made my own tongue twister! Hahaha. Try this:

I scared I slip
You scared you slip
I scared you slip
You scared I slip

Haha. It derived from yesterday when I was out with Adli at Tampines. It was raining heavily and I was scared I would slip and fall. Hahaha -.o I know. Well, you try the tongue twister. I ended up with 'sklip' and 'you slap I skip'.

Glad I'm with you :)

technology is so dead now.

2009-02-22T20:02:00.002+08:00

Dead.

I feel that my social circle via internet is so dead. Friendster, dead. Blog, quite dead. Facebook, worst! Haha. I don't have to have techonology yet I'm inevitably dependent on it. Irony. Speaking of blog.

I wish this blog was more alive. I feel like it's soooo not exciting whenever I re-read my posts. Hahaha. I bring no fire! :(

That aside, was studying geog just now in silence no distractions, somehow expecting that someone would text...or call.... then, when i decide to go to the bathroom, i received a call from someone. with 4 missed calls and 2 texts. My myyy. Your timing uhhh. Hahahaha. But it's good that you called, brings a cheery smile to this somewhat gloomy Sunday. :) I wanna study my ass off just for this next week now. Well, at least I have something to look forward to at the end of the week :) from Friday all the way to Sunday.

Till then! (Make sure I don't come online this week!)

2009-02-21T19:09:00.005+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. This is Mdm Yuhanis Bte Tasrif aka MY MOTHER! HAHAHAHAHAHA.

1) rambut = style :D
2) the specs... oh the specs....

okaylah, cannot say anything lah. TKGS girl y'know. Now, I have to find a picture of my dad. Then they'll be even. Hahaha.

leona lewis

2009-02-21T18:27:00.003+08:00

Just You.

And because once again, Youtube won't let me get the official video. I got this. But I love the official video okay? Go check it out. +++ I love the song. :)

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me

All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye and now I know
How far you'd go

I know I let you down
But it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go

I will be, all that you want 
And gather myself together 
Cause you keep me from falling apart 

All my life, I'll be with you forever 
To get you through the day 
And make everything okay 

I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see, honestly

You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe, cause you're here with me

And if I let you down
I'll turn it all around
Cause I would never let you go

I will be, all that you want
And gather myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life, I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

Cause without you I can't breathe
I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave
You're all I've got, you're all I want
Yeah

And without you I don't know what I'd do
I can never, ever live a day without you
Here with me, do you see,
You're all I need

And I will be, all that you want
And gather myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

All my life (my life), I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

I will be (I'll be), all that you want
And gather myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart

And all my life, you know I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

2009-02-20T22:09:00.003+08:00

The supposed last sprint.

Common Tests. Common Tests. Common Tests. It runs through my mind like almost every minute if not every second of my life right now. Seriously, I have no time to slack right now. I realise time is flying so fast! Omg. Like, I remember the last time I was thinking about when is common tests going to start, it was 4 weeks ago. So it went like, "okay. common tests in 4 weeks." Now, common test NEXT week. No shit man.

And I feel fine being a so-called 'loner' in class. Not loner lahhh, I'd like to say I 'fly solo'. Haha. But I realise I'm super flexible in mixing around. Not that I'm bragging. Nooooo, I wouldn't do that. But after taking personality tests after tests. The results mentioned that I'm the kind of person that cannot be isolated from people. Haha, then come to think of it. I'm not exactly isolated. It's not that I'm forever lonely pe say, I mix around with different groups of people. Really. But I always have my darling loves during break to keep me company, refresh my un-loneliness :)

Went to Parkway with family just now. Shall be expecting a few things after my mum's next pay :) Hahaha. Awesome! Kay. Yeah. Something from Topshop, something from Keds and I forgot what the other thing was. Haha.

By the way, yesterday was awesome :) Yesterday was 10 months :) Yesterday was 190209 :) ily.

insulted by a stranger

2009-02-17T21:09:00.003+08:00

Insulted by a stranger.

Bukit Batok's covered in haze at certain times, and the smell... I would like to sincerely apologise cos I know I'm too hot thus, causing the atmosphere's temperature to rise leading to forest fires. Sorry eh! Haha. But it caused our 157 to take a detour. I guessed it surprised some passengers. Ah well.

Today I feel satisfied. My family satisfied my long cravings. Haha. First was the butter squid. Oooh yum! Annnnnnnnnd CHOCOLATE! :D But I believe I have lost weight cos 1) PE quite tough uh. 2) Too stressed to eat. 3) No time to eat. Haha. I think. By the time I have time to eat, I'll have no appetite.

Well, time's been real tough now. I guess it's cos CT is coming. I blame it ALL on CT. Haha. Year2 is killing me. Seriously, and it's only the first part of the year. Omg! The pressure is everywhere I tell you. EVERYWHERE. This morning, the 'advanced, retained, cte' classmates of mine (and me included) had another reminder of how important CT is. Like, he literally pulled us out from the crowd to remind us. Harsh. Yep. Mmhm. To ignore it is to be asking for trouble. To heed the advise, needs lots of work. LOTS of work.

Oh yes! I forgot I'm suppose to text two friends. Hope I don't forget again. Now's the time to focus. I can't have any rooms for any other problems. I'm trying to shove it aside for now. Hopefully to forget it, and if I have to solve it, I shall let it wait till after CT. Yeah, CT's my life right now. Everyone's been asking me, why I've been quiet lately. Like, it's as though the energy and vibe that I transcend to others(at times) has faded. Moody is one word. Although, in my perspective, I feel fine! Really, cos I even wonder why they ask me. I'm like, "I'm okay! :)" But I think it's not enough to convince. Too stressed and pressurized I guess.

By Le Chatelier's Principle, when there is increase in pressure, the system will try to decrease the pressure by shifting to the side that has less 'pressure'. Thus, new equilibrium is achieved. Blablabla.

I want my babylove to pass and I want myself to get through PROMOTED. Zomg. It seems too easy but really... I think it's not. You think I can do it? I think I can.

Need to do GPP. Kay, time check. Common Test in 6 days.

2009-02-14T19:20:00.002+08:00

kittycat!
from MI, now missing because of i don't know.
the name's kittycat! with an exclamation mark.
in loving memory of kittycat (with no exclamation mark)

valentines

2009-02-14T16:57:00.002+08:00

Happy V Day, everyone.

I think I'm kinda glad I'm at home on this joyous day where outside, the air is filled with romance and every where you turn you see public display of affection. Spent my afternoon with two lovely stories, Hitch & Titanic. Homework will be later.

I'm craving for butter squid. But I'm left with nasi goreng at home. I'm also craving for chocolate. Really k. If anyone could, I want Cadbury Marble.

it hurts to have no valentine

2009-02-13T23:51:00.002+08:00

I want to be 3 again.

I don't want to be 18. I don't want to have to carry the load of an 18-year-old. However, dear friend is turning 18 in 2 days time. I'm happy for her. But life's getting tougher for the both of us. Thank God for technology that made us so near yet so fear. Able to hear each other's emotions without being physically there for each other.

I.want.to.sleep.

im tired.

2009-02-12T20:53:00.002+08:00

Sufie = power not anymore.

Disappointed by my 2.4 timing. My timing was worse than last year's. Haha. Ohhh well. I beat Adli in sit-ups & sitandreach. Haha, something about sitting thing makes me better :) HAHA. Tomorrow I'm running for a cause. Alah, now I feel lazy to run. Caught up with ol' times with Nisa just now. Haha. Hmmm, interesting stories I heard.

I feel so sad I can't watch Adli's match tomorrow and I can't go home with him :( Hope you guys win, baby! :D

Schoolwork's been piling up. Common test is in 1 week's time. I am so scared k can? Cannnnn. SYF's nearing too. I need to relax. Really.

2009-02-10T21:58:00.002+08:00

For the benefit of those confused people who keep asking me why I take from Kembangan when I mention to them I live at Bedok. And why I stop at Eunos.

Here's the thing. The road from Eunos to Kembangan is a one way thing and my house is in between the two stations. Yes, I can take from Eunos but it has to go one round which takes 15-20mins depending. It takes me only 5mins to get to Kembangan. And I do NOT live near Bedok MRT.

The green line is how I go to school via bus. And the blue how I get back home. Of course the drawing is not drawn to scale. My house isn't that near to the MRT stations.

2009-02-10T21:27:00.003+08:00

is it just me or did Plainsunset made a birthday dedication to D? Oh, &I saw Adli too.

napfa 5 stations

2009-02-10T20:23:00.003+08:00

Sufie = damn powerrrrr.

Had Napfa test 5 stations today. 2.4 will be held on Thursday at 4.05pm. Damn. So anyway, I have broken 3 new records today, in my own lifetime record. COME! Let me share with you.

Sit-ups ; 60 in 1min.
Sit&Reach ; 64cm
Inclined Pull-ups; 31 in 30sec

Awesome right? :D

Hahahahahaha, okay I just want to laugh out really really loud! I saw Amir's 'Hello Crystal' sign. And I saw Juuuuuun! On tv. Kay hahahaha.

And youtube won't allow me to put the official video of this song. But I love this song, and Cassadee is pweeeety. :)

2009-02-08T21:39:00.001+08:00

Love you alot.

I have a birthday present from Adli :) LOVEYOU, BABYLOVE! :D But I won't get it till tmr. Haha, went out with him just now to buy it and then to airport to study. I'm feeling rather sick and nauseaus. Serious. I need to lie down. I hope I don't get a fever or something. Oh but anyway, I like this song.

everybody knows

2009-02-07T22:58:00.002+08:00

One more try.

Assignments, deadlines, tutorial, lectures, 5.25pm... Everything's piling up. Digressing from geog for awhile now. Tired uh. And when we say we are tired, we are REALLY not kidding. I have so many deadlines this upcoming week. The only day that I don't is Wednesday. I have Chem&Maths test on Thursday PLUS a deadline. Are you kidding me?! OH SHIT! I just remembered somthing. Shall text Adli now. So yeahhhh. We stayed kinda late yesterday in school cos of cca open house. And I had to do up the sapphire noticeboard abit. Left school around 7+++. And after so long, Adli sent me home :) It was really really nice. I wished time didn't have to fly so fast yesterday.

OH BY THE WAY, on erm .... Thursday, I was walking towards the SAC when someone tapped me on the shoulder, and when I turn I saw Nisaaaaa! I was like sooooo damn happy! I hugged her and then I cried tears of joy. Eh serious. Reunion. Hahaha, she came to MI and she didn't even tell me! She was thinking of taking the same subject combination of me. Heh. Advisable, don't take. Quite heavy lah my subjects. Haha, I can see a few mats around although I couldn't see much as I was wearing my specs. Haha, I wore specs for a whole week to school. Wow. Haha don't worry! Got my new fresh pair of contacts :) Finally, I can see clearer.

I love this song. K bye.

annisaaaa

2009-02-07T22:46:00.002+08:00

A Very Happy 16th To Nur Annisa Zainal!
(eh, your name got Nur, right? Haha.)

Truth be told, I don't even have the right words to describe how much I miss you. And I hope that even if I'm not there with you physically, please... know that I'm always here whenever you need me. Thank God we're not enemies cos I love you! Andddd I hope you have the best 16th of your life, like I did. (well, duhh.. it comes only once) Haha. I want to get a pikcha of you and publicise it but I figured you don't need much publicity than you already have. Hahaha, NO ONE REALLY READS MY BLOG ANYWAYYYYS. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I'm glad you've finally turned 16. Haha. ILY. :)))

publicity

2009-02-04T22:48:00.001+08:00

CALLING OUT ALL SAPPHIRIANS.

If any sapphirians happen to visit this ever so not controversial blog of mine, I am publicising this very important message.

***SAPPHIRE NEEDS CHEERLEADERS FOR THE SPORTS FIESTA ON THE 6TH OF MARCH. PLEASE LOOK FOR FARAH 08A3 or JIEHAO 08B5 TO SUBMIT YOUR NAMES. THANK YOU.

2009-02-01T09:44:00.003+08:00

Woke up too early.
Not in the very best of mood.
Wtv.

I got a new phone, btw.

should i?

2009-01-31T00:19:00.003+08:00

Think.

One thing about me is that I can be really fickle-minded and sometimes be really firm about what I want. I don't know if it's just me, or it's a girl thing but I don't really like it. I hate it when my heart and my mind clashes. Sometimes, when I'm firm about what I want, I can be pressurized and bam! I give in. I find it a bit difficult to stand up for my rights at times.

They say, the older you get the more mature you (supposedly) get. And you're able to make good decisions. Is it? Then how come I have this inability to make certain RIGHT decisions? How to become President of Singapore like this? I have dreams, don't worry. I support the rational. I will think through the rational. I will try to make good decisions this time.

Sorry if it didn't make you happy. I know you're worried but I promise you I won't let anything happen. If possible, I want you to be there. I NEED you to be there. Sorry, again.

tired or what

2009-01-29T20:56:00.002+08:00

It's only the beginning.

I'm feeling really really tired. I feel so lagged nowadays. PE was a killa just now. 8 rounds of running and 1 round of brisk walking. No shit. I'm finally done with PI and I still have ulasan buku and keratan akhbar to do. I have math remedial tomorrow. 2 HOURS OF IT. Maths is getting more and more boring, like 89% half-asleep. Seriouslyyy.

Okay, off to do my work now. No time for break. Break is tomorrow kay?

from yesterday

2009-01-27T15:02:00.003+08:00

HajiLane.
Amir, I took this :)
HAHAHA CUTE KAN?
Bite that dust.
Cos you're everything I live for.

With Love from HajiLane,
Yesterday.

2009-01-26T23:53:00.002+08:00

nice kan?
fatone.
justin? haha don't remember what it's called.
&&& finally, something random for everyone. MY DRESSING TABLE.

hairspray, creams, hair products, make-up, make-up brushes, perfumes and ribbon from Janel :)

beauty

2009-01-25T16:37:00.002+08:00

When beauty was only skin deep, wayyyyy deep.

I went to Parkway today with my mum, and I had to wear my specs all the way there cos wanted to go for an eye check-up so that I can make new contacts. So yeah, the consultation took pretty long and my eyes got pretty tired after that. But I guess it was okay, good thing I brought my current lenses so that I can change to them afterwards cos boyyyy, was I damn rabun. Yeah, bought groceries. Then had lunch at banquet. And bought my long sought for exfoliation soap. Hahaha. And and I got this Scar Vanishing Cream. I hope it works cos it cost ed a damn $19.80 for something quite small. Haha.

I think I wanna go my gramma's house later to alter my school skirts. Haaah. Obvious reason, don't ask why.

2009-01-24T00:19:00.002+08:00

Say what? Say Salvatore.
Pretty :)
ini gambar tak senonoh, ini gambar funny. FUNNY KAN?! HAHAHAHA.BFF.
BFF, meet Armpit. Armpit, meet BFF.
They called me family :)
BFF, belum siapppz.
Great to be part of them :)

Kakdira's wedding pics. Some of 'em. There's alot more but I'll put up the ones with my face. Haha.

okay day

2009-01-22T23:32:00.003+08:00

The Remedy.

It turned out to be okay today in school. I guess all you need is a boyfriend to put that smile back and giving you the security you need. assuring you everything's gonna be okay. Friends whom you know you can count on and lastly, a classmate like Fahmy to keep your stomach aching with all the laughter. Idk why, he made Kelly laugh non-stop today. And I really mean, nooooooon-stopppppp. And her laughter was kinda contagious too. Hahaha, eh serious.

Tomorrow's celebration. Ahh, exciting. I'm glad I'm done with my GP. You should see my handbook, FILLED with deadlines next week. Mentang2 CNY, bukan main lagi. So yeah, I'm looking forward to being with Adli in the morning and in the afternoon :) cos who knows, the next time I'm gonna see him would be next week! Zomg!

So what's next? Common Test. And and! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLY! Apparently I do have time to blog on the 22nd :D Hahaha, save the best for last, wishing you again at 11.44pm! ILYVVVVM! K, I hope I've done enough or at least reaching enough cos I can't even meet you on your birthday or soon :( I hope you still love me! Hahaha.

Do you... wanna lie down and start kissing?

2009-01-21T23:14:00.002+08:00

adlimus says:
goodnight baby
adlimus says:
I LOOOOVE YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH!

It's something to calm my mind and have a peaceful sleep tonight.

2009-01-21T22:55:00.004+08:00

HAPPY (fill in digits) BIRTHDAY! :D
Alysha Insyirah

I'll save you the modesty of letting others know how old you are :) But don't worry, I know how old you are. Haha, anywayyy, you are one special kiddo! Chey, kiddo or what. Hais, why does your birthday have to fall on tomorrow? I know I'm doing this a taaaaaaaaaad bit early cos I know I'm not gonna have the time tomorrow thus, today :) You know I love you more than your-favourite-xxx kan kan? Haha. May this year be awesome for you (and for me too heh heh) &&&& that you produce more fruitful things for Singapore cos I believe in changes. Good or bad. Hahaha. Okay, enjoy the 22nd! :D

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

2009-01-21T22:39:00.002+08:00

Hope.

21st January 2008. Too many things happening, and I mean bad things. Maybe not the quantity, the quality the impact that the situations bring. I feel so fragile right now. I need to be stronger.

I don't think it's you, I refuse to believe what I hear. I don't know the whole truth right now, but I'll wait for tomorrow to come.

&I never thought that this day would come. I'm freaking afraid of what's my future gonna be like. Why does this have to happen on top of what I'm already having to cope with? WHY?! It's hard to just continue life without thinking about it. I don't know, I need to fall back now. I need to recover from my shock. Baby?

I'd stop it from happening if I could.

early morningd

2009-01-19T07:00:00.004+08:00

Schooltime!

An early morning quickie.

I know it's uncommon to kinda blog early in the morning at 7am while waiting for the clock to strike 7.15 so that I can leave the house for school. But, hey! I missed out blogging yesterday so why not take a chance now aye mate? Ahhhh, I'm hungry. I think I shall go get some sweets at Cheers later so that I won't fall asleep during Math.

Yesterday i went to collect my $$$KACHING$$$ ! Awesome. With another pay comin' up I'll be able to buy a car! Justttttttt kiddingggggg. Savin' up for a camera. I was thinking of getting a video cam HAHA because with a camera you can't really capture life's funny moments. Oh who cares, I just want a camera. Had dinner with la famila and headed home to do Math Assignment. I have Bio tutorial to do but I think I'll read the notes later in the MRT, I THINK.

Well, I shall go now, have fun in school! I end at 5.25pm today! ADIOS AMIGOS.

kakdira wedding

2009-01-17T23:24:00.002+08:00

This is me, tired. Serious.

Finally, 1 down 2 to go.

Today was Kakdira's pernikahan. I was there at 12noon. Met Nab & Kaktasha at tamp mart, walked around bought stuff and went to her house. Kakdira looks supaaaa different. Shall upload pics later when I get it from Nab. Yeah. I am tired. But I'm sure everyone else is too.

Love the Nikon D80 though :)

just us now.

2009-01-16T22:00:00.002+08:00

Emo

Had self-practice just now. Lasted till 3 only. Bathed with Shuuy and sat down at the cafe alone. With a cup of ice lemon tea, I finished up my chemistry tutorial because I fell asleep last night and didn't do any work at all. I think I wanna finish up my maths assignment but I have no clue how to do. Twisted the question here and there but found no answers yet. Okay so anyway, Hakim ended track and I went to sit with him. Sat down and had a talk. Talked about now and future.

Had dinner after that with the remainings. :( It's so sad that our clique are slowly breaking apart. Who's gonna be left when we reach year3? I hope we'll still be tight even after the Year1s come in and when we go through this year's exams. Tough tough. With PW and all. Oh well, I pray I get through my CT. Pray for me too :)

I love you more and more by the minute, by the hour - anytime, anywhere.

am i losing you?

2009-01-15T00:07:00.002+08:00

Take back all those memories.

Nothing like a little teardrop to ruin something at any point of time. It's getting different by the day. I'm guessing it's just me and my imagination. But again, my heart starts to feel heavy. I have a hunch I know what it is. Now how is that possible? How can I have a hunch for something that comes from ME? I'm not comfortable talking about it I suppose. Not yet, perhaps? But please don't hound me for answers. I need time. Time to think and re-think. And sort out my imagination and assumptions.

2nd day

2009-01-13T21:43:00.002+08:00

Balancing on a string.

I am glad that I have this sudden burning passion to study and do all my assignments. I am glad that I have managed to stay completely awake with only a few yawns here and there during chemistry while taking down notes NEATLY. But there's just something... I don't know what. I don't know why I have this heavy feeling in my heart whenever my mind's being put to rest (and that would mean break time and such). Then one way to cure that is to never stop studying! But I guess only one person in my class is able to do that. I shall leave it to her to do the job.

But I'm serious. I tried talking it out but I couldn't even find the topic. I tried! Swear I did. But I don't know why. It could be because I'm still an advanced case and make sure I make it to PU2, of which I will! It could be that the new PU1s will be joining us soon. To be honest, I'm not looking forward to them. Adli is though. Hmm, I kinda like it when it was just us PU2 and 3 and the previous batch. Now we have to make new friends and hopefully not new enemies. I should stay low profile this year. Okay, anyway. It could be that the timetable is too harsh to handle for now. I don't know!

I ... I gotta go.

Wish upon the stars; I'll take my chances & love.

2009-01-12T22:43:00.002+08:00

CAN YOU SEE THE TIME I END!???

5.25PM

omgggggg!
going through hell already.

First day of school.

Well well, I'll embrace the new classmates and embrace the new year. I kinda like my new classes :) Not looking forward to PW though. Zomg.

Kay bye.

New Year's resolution: I will complete ALL assignments. Do or Die.

thebigrole

2009-01-12T06:27:00.003+08:00

Escorted through the gates of shame.

I wanna know who I really am. I'm 18, for (enter name)'s sake. And I'm serious about this. Physically, I'm 50-50. Emotionally, I'm 70-30. Spritually, ahhhhh I have no idea. And I wanna know now!

God please tell me.